


Where we belong

by FuckYeahChilton



Series: How to deal with Sabriel feels [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: After they beat Michael, Gabriel Loves Sam Winchester, Gabriel is alive and well, Idiots in Love, M/M, Sabriel - Freeform, Sam Winchester Loves Gabriel, little destiel implied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-12
Updated: 2018-05-12
Packaged: 2019-05-05 17:02:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14623185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FuckYeahChilton/pseuds/FuckYeahChilton
Summary: Because I have feels I decided to live in a happy bubble now. Join me if you like ='(  Another stand alone piece for my series of dealing with Sabriel feels.





	Where we belong

**Author's Note:**

> Because I have feels I decided to live in a happy bubble now. Join me if you like ='( Another stand alone piece for my series of dealing with Sabriel feels.

 

 

 

 

 

*** Where we belong ***

 

 

 

 

 

 

„I found a case.” Dean said and Sam looked up from his laptop. He looked exhausted, his face not even showing the tiniest bit of emotion. “I’m busy.” he replied dryly and Dean rolled with his eyes.  
“Look, I know you try everything to find Jack but if he doesn’t want to be found..”  
“I’ll get him back! We’re his family, not Lucifer. I won’t let that happen!” Sam said angrily, making Dean sigh. “Yeah.. you’re right.. But maybe you should get some fresh air at least once in a while… clear your head.. You know.. that kind of stuff you always preach when I act like you are acting now?”  
Sam bit his lower lip, lost in thoughts for a while, then he flipped his laptop shut. “Alright. What you got?” he asked, not really looking like he cared.  
“Two murder investigations.. not far from each other. Both victims looked like they have been attacked by an animal. I guess werewolf. A classic.” Dean tried a smile but Sam just stood up. “Okay, let’s go..”  
“Wait.. shouldn’t we make some kind of plan first?” Dean asked and Sam shot him a look. “Okay. What’s the plan?”  
“Well, I thought Cas and I check out the one place and you and Gabe..” “No.” Sam interrupted. “I’m not going with Gabriel.”  
“Oookay...” Dean nodded slowly, obviously a bit lost with ideas.  
“I go with Cas.”   
“Fine. Whatever.”

With that said, the group had split up and later that night, Sam was sitting in a motel room with Cas, studying everything he could find online about the cases. Cas was sitting on the bed he wouldn’t sleep on anyway, looking uncomfortable, not unnoticed by Sam.

“Hey.. uhm.. sorry if you wanted to go with Dean instead...”   
Cas looked up and frowned. “I am fine, going with you.. I just.. worry about you, Sam.”  
Sam cracked a bitter smile. “To be honest, Cas.. me too.”  
“I promise, we will do everything to get Jack back. It wasn’t your fault. We all failed… We failed you in the first place..”  
“Don’t… please. There was nothing you could have done.” Sam assured and Cas looked like he wasn’t satisfied with that reality at all.  
“I understand that you didn’t want to go with my brother. He can be quite disturbing at times.” the angel said to change the topic and Sam stared at his hands.  
“I wish that was the reason..” he mumbled quietly and Cas tilted his head.  
“I thought you and Gabriel have a connection.. He likes you.”   
“Yeah… that’s the point.” he sighed and let his fingers run through his hair, then he burst out laughing.  
“What’s so funny?” Cas asked dryly and Sam shook his head. “Nothing. I’m just... so stupid!” he kept laughing until he was exhausted and wiped away a tear. “I like him. This is so ridiculous...”  
Cas kept staring at Sam for a while, then his eyes widened. “Oh.. you.. like him.” he stated and Sam shrugged helplessly.   
“How?” Cas kept asking and Sam laughed again. “I know right?  
“I mean.. how do you know?”  
Sam took a deep breath and sorted his thoughts. “I don’t know… remember when we caught him and Rowena in the library?”  
“I try not to.”  
“When I saw them...it hurt. And it still hurts.. That’s how I know.” Sam confessed quietly and was about to tear up. He was confused and wanted those feelings to go away, but on the other hand, he felt lighter because he said it out loud.  
“I understand. I know that kind of pain..” Cas said and their eyes met. Sam understood right away what he was talking about and he nodded. “What now?”

“I don’t think I’m the right one to give you an advice here, Sam..”

“I thought about avoiding him until it goes away?” Sam looked so desperate in an adorable way, that Cas cracked a little smile. “It’s not working for me...”  
Sam returned the smile, then he shook his head. “What am even thinking? How can I compete with porn stars, mighty witches and who else he’s been with… He’s an Archangel and I am just… what am I compared to that..”  
“That’s what you worry about? That you’re not enough?”  
“I have no idea how to handle and Archangel… not to mention.. a guy… I’m sure he won’t even look at me..”  
“Oh, he’s looking at you. Differently, so to speak. I don’t know what it means, though. Gabriel is a mystery to me.”  
“I don’t know if I want to find out.. I guess I just go with.. wait until it goes away...” Sam sighed, “Please don’t tell Dean any of this okay?” he asked and Castiel agreed with a nod.

Meanwhile at the other Motel, Gabriel was musing about something as well, hesitating to ask Dean about it but in the end, he decided to give it a try because it wouldn’t stop bothering him.  
“So… Sam is avoiding me recently, do you know why?”  
Dean looked up and shrugged. “I honestly have no idea. Maybe because you made him go through hell over and over that one time or the other time when you turned him into a car or gave him genital herpes?” he said sarcastically and smiled.  
Gabriel shook his head. “That makes no sense.. Thanks for the reminder, though… but he said he needed me.. he wanted me around and he was kind to me so why did that suddenly change? I mean… we figured out the plan to send in a fake to pretend I am dead, so I can heal and come back at full power, together.. I thought we made a good...team..”

“I’d call it helper syndrome. Also since when do we have conversations about my brother? Let me try find the porn channel.”  
“I don’t wanna watch porn. Especially not with _you_.” Gabriel said and Dean dropped the remote. “What the hell is wrong with you? I mean… besides all the other things.”  
“I’m just not in the mood, okay?” Gabriel snapped and Dean replied: “Okay, something is so wrong with you right now...”  
“Nothing’s wrong, okay? Finally I felt like something is right. Staying in the bunker with you guys.. It felt like the right choice but now I don’t feel welcome anymore and it sucks!”  
“I thought you’d be gone the minute Michael’s done anyway..”  
“You know… losing Sam.. I realized something.” Gabriel paused and swallowed down the words on his mind. “Lucifer is still around and as long as he is, I’ll be around and make sure he won’t hurt Sam again, okay? I owe him that at least.”  
“So you’re playing Guardian Angel for my little brother now?” Dean mocked and Gabriel shrugged. “Yeah.. why not? If you wanna say it like that.. I don’t have much else to do anyway..”  
“Sweet. But you know, we got things done before you were around.”  
Gabriel stared into the distance for a while. There were so many things he wanted to say to Sam and trying to say them to Dean first wouldn’t get him anywhere. All the time since he met Sam Winchester for the first time, he did everything that kept him safe from facing his true feelings and this time he chose the difficult part, but now he wasn’t sure anymore if it was right. Maybe it would cause more damage instead of becoming something good...  
“Got it. As soon as this thing is done, I’m out. I’ll keep looking for Jack but I won’t be a bother anymore.” Gabriel said and turned around on his bed. It was better like this. He wasn’t a team-player anyway..   
Dean didn’t know what to say, but before he found any words, Gabriel snapped his fingers and the room turned dark.

 

Three days later, Team Free Will 2.1 was back in the bunker and Sam back at his research to find a way to get Jack back, as suddenly, Gabriel appeared in the room and he looked up, his heartbeat starting to raise immediately.  
“Hey...” the Archangel greeted and Sam force a smile.  
“I.. I just wanted to say good bye. And thanks.. for ..you know… the things you did for me..”  
“Wait.. you’re leaving? Again?” Sam asked, disappointment written all over his face, mixed with a little panic in his voice, “But what about Jack?”  
“Oh don’t worry about that. I’ll keep looking. I just stay somewhere else. It’s better that way. I don’t belong here.. So boring.” Gabriel lied and Sam nodded. “Yeah.. it’s better that way.. I guess..”  
Gabriel nodded at him and then he was gone. Sam felt himself fall into a deep hole the moment he realized Gabriel wasn’t there any longer. He wanted his feelings to go away but this felt even worse.  
He stood up slowly and walked into his room, closed the door quietly and sunk on the ground, leaning against it. Suddenly, he couldn’t breathe anymore and when he tried, he started sobbing instead. He was angry and sad at the same time, because he didn’t want to be without Gabriel, but he knew the Archangel didn’t care about him at all. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have left just like that. Again. Sam didn’t hear the knocking at his door, or the deep voice, calling his name. He didn’t even notice the angel suddenly appearing in his room, kneeling down in front of him.

“Sam...” Cas said and didn’t know what else to do other than pulling the younger Winchester into his arms. “It’s what you wanted, isn’t it?”  
“No..” Sam hiccupped, “I.. I want… him..”   
“Maybe you should talk to him then..”  
“NO!” suddenly the anger overcame the sadness and he wiped over his face. “Screw him.” he stood up and walked in circles. “He does nothing else but hurting me anyway! Screw him! Screw angels!”  
“Uhm..”  
“Not you… Archangels… Screw them!”  
“But you love him..”

“I do..” Sam’s voice broke and he turned into a sobbing mess again.

“Come on, let’s get you to the bed...” Cas said softly and helped Sam to sit down, crumpling a letter that was waiting for him on the bed and Cas pulled it from beneath him, smoothing it with his palm.  
“What’s that?” Sam asked with a thin voice.  
“It has your name on it, so I guess it’s for you.” Cas said and handed the letter over. “I suggest you read it. At least hear what he has to say.” he smiled at Sam and got up. Sam sniffed and nodded. “Thank’s Cas..”  
“Anytime.” Cas replied and left him alone.

Sam hesitated for a moment, then he opened the letter and unfolded the paper. A feather fell into his lap and he picked it up, twisting it between his fingers carefully. It was soft, shimmering in all possible shades of gold and probably the most beautiful thing Sam had ever seen. Was this a real feather from Gabriel’s wings?   
“Gabe...” Sam mumbled, took a deep breath and started reading.

_“I wanted to believe...so badly, I’d… It’s so damn hard to do this… what we do. All alone, you know. And there’s so much evil out in the world, Dean I feel like I could drown it. And when I think about my destiny, when I think about how I could end up… … Yeah I know you are, but you’re just one person, Dean. And I needed to think there was someone else watching too, you know? Some higher power. Some greater good. And that maybe… Maybe I could be saved._

_Yes Sam, I heard you that day..And I remember every single word you said. Your prayers, your faith...and how it died. I saw your soul shine and I needed to meet you in person. I needed you to see me with your own eyes, even if you didn’t know I was an angel as you wished to have one, watching over you. I’ve never been the guardian type and I needed to stay in disguise but I knew.. the moment you were standing in front of me, smiling at me, that I was lost. I fell for you… and I tried to save you with taking your biggest weakness away and make you hate me at the same time, because I could never imagine, being in love with a human. I wasn’t just running from my family, I was also running from you. The whole time.. Yet I wasn’t completely able to stay away from you, as you might have realized by now. I couldn’t save you every time, especially not the last and it hurt so much that I came to the conclusion that it’s time to stop running or the day will come when I regret that I’ve never been honest to you. I know now that you’ve only been kind to me, because I needed someone to be kind and you are just that kind of person.. You brought me back from the prison I created for myself when you said you needed me. But you don’t and it’s better when I’m gone. You know I’m a coward and a screw up, so instead of getting me, telling all this to your pretty face like you deserve, you get this crappy letter. Because I need you to know. Know that I am sorry, that I ever hurt you while trying to protect you and that I did things, because I needed you to hate me. I wish I had been braver back then because now.. you don’t want me around anymore and I get that. Not even I would want to be around me… Just keep in mind, that you have an angel who’s a jerk, a failure, but also desperately in love with you and if you ever need me, I’ll hear you. I’ll probably not be able to look into your eyes ever again after this, but that makes my neck hurt anyway, so.. win!_

_Bye, Sam.. be happy, okay?_

_Yours,  
Douchey”_

Sam looked up from the letter and blinked away another tear. “Are you fucking kidding me?”   
He read the letter again, slowly, letting every word sink and he started to understand, though it was hard to believe that this was all real.  
Sam dropped back on the mattress and stared at the ceiling, his fingers playing with the feather.  
“Gabriel..” he started, trying to find the right words. “I.. uhm.. I read your letter.. I want to tell you something, too. But I want to tell you in person. You’ll have to face me, so stop being a coward and come back, okay?”  
Nothing happened for a while and Sam sighed, as suddenly, a flapping sound made him look up and Gabriel was standing there, in the middle of the room, his back turned at him.  
Sam got up and wanted to say something, but Gabriel turned around energetically, holding a rose in his hands and with a fake mustache glued to his face.  
Sam closed his mouth and rubbed his forehead like he was about to get a real bad headache.  
“You look like an idiot..” he mumbled with a soft chuckle.  
“Well… guess that’s what I am.. Will you accept this rose?” Gabriel asked and moved closer to Sam.  
“Get that thing off your face and stop acting like the bachelor!” Sam said and ripped the mustache off of Gabriel’s face.  
“Ouch! That hurt!”  
“Oh, come on!”  
“I knew you were into that kind of show!”  
“Shut up and give me my rose.” Sam snapped and snatched the rose.  
“What does that mean?” Gabriel asked quietly, insecure what to think about Sam’s request for him to come back.  
“It means that you’re giving me a real hard time here to admit that I… I..uhm..” Sam took a deep breath and placed the rose on his nightstand.  
“It means that I love you too, okay?” he finally gave in. “I love you, Gabriel..”  
The Archangel’s eyes widened and found Sam’s. “You...do?” he asked as if he wasn’t buying it a bit.  
“I.. do.. I guess..” Sam said with a helpless shrug.  
“Why?” Gabriel asked and Sam laughed. “That’s a very good question, but… Does it matter?”  
Now Gabriel smiled. “I guess not?”  
“Then I guess you’ll seriously suffer from neck-problems from now on.” Sam smiled and walked up to Gabriel. “Can you kiss me now?”  
“May I?” Gabriel asked and returned the smile.  
“Yeah, you have my full permission to kiss me right now..” Sam whispered, when Gabriel was standing right in front of him, his heart pounding hard in his chest.  
He bent down while Gabriel raised himself on tip-toes. Their lips met for their first kiss, that started a little awkward, but once that line was crossed, they weren’t able to stop sharing kisses with increasing passion. Gabriel tasted like sunshine, he smelled like summer rain on the pavement and Sam was in heaven.  
“I might get into some serious health issues concerning my back..” he mumbled against the Archangel’s lips, while catching a breath. “Suck it up, Sasquatch.” Gabriel replied softly and Sam choked a laugh. “You’re the worst..”   
“I know..”  
They looked into each others eyes for a long while, then Gabriel pushed Sam on the bed and jumped on him to continue making out with the one human he loved so much that it seemed to eat him up from the inside, but now, all was good. Everything felt right and he finally felt that he belonged. Suddenly, a thought crossed his mind in the middle of undressing Sam and he stopped.   
“What’s wrong?” Sam asked breathlessly and Gabriel frowned at him. “Why were you avoiding me after we sent Michael to hell?”  
“I… uhm.. “ Sam tried to sort his thoughts, which was not so easy because all he wanted right now was to feel Gabriel without him talking or answering his questions.  
“I...” he cleared his throat, “Uhm.. I thought you and Rowena...”  
Gabriel laughed out loud. “Oh.. THAT… well.. that was… that… Oh come on, you know I’m not picky...”  
Sam frowned and Gabriel reconsidered his choice of words. “That.. came out wrong… Sam.. everyone I’ve ever been with.. Everyone who’s not you… is not.. you.. If you get what I mean..”  
Sam chuckled softly. “Yeah, I get you. No more witches then? And no porn stars..?”  
“Actually.. there weren’t any porn stars.. I just.. wanted to make you guys believe I had the time of my life, okay. But I promise.. This piece of cake is all yours from now on. Sounds good?”

“Yeah..” Sam smiled. “Pretty good, actually.. but.. speaking of cake.. uhm.. how do we tell Dean?”

Gabriel was thinking back to how Dean has never been his biggest fan and how much of a pain in the ass he could become, once the cat was out of the bag...

“Oh, raspberries..”

 

 

***

 

 


End file.
